Already got asked if we're dating
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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