she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
