so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
