I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
