I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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