Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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