how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Randomize
