I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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