its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
My Sexting was not on an AP level
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
