She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
