3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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