I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
