so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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