this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
foreskin is a definite game changer
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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