My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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