Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
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