lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize
