My hair reeks of homosexuality.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
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