the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
