I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
