you guys were way drunker than both of me
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Randomize
