this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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