it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
