We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I think my vagina is haunted
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
