return my video game
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
