I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
