The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
