OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
