Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
