I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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