There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
