I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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