Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I'm just crazy horny about you
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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