I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
