a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Go christen that room with your naked body.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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