rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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