Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize