Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
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