mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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