U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
