i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
