So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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