Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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