I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
