Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
