he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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