Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
