she was so not down for the gang bang
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
