More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
