You just made me feel so damn special
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
