belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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