I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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