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you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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