do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
