HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Randomize
