He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
